TGL: a skunkie describes bathing in the green lake

To describe the experience is like to remembering a dream. I cannot quite recall the entire event, or know what happened in which order. Nor am I able to describe in mere words the feelings I...I felt. But try I will, for you need to know.

At the beginning of the procedure everything seems a little...distant. A bit non-happening. Then suddenly, the sensation of intense begins to crawl all over the body and soul, surrounding the entire being, like being overwhelmed by fear and cold at the exact same instant. The hands still have feeling, albeit concentrated in tingly cold sweaty fingertips...an ugly self. The rest of my body is shaking furiously, out of control. Aye...an ugly self.

An unknown sense of my mind warns of something about to happen. I never knew I could think like that, it was very strange. The attention drifted from my faltering body to the growing unease of my brain. And that is when the dismemberment happened.

...yes...that being the separation of mind and body. My mind, as well as I know it (or knew it), is not accustomed to this. Now I am surreal, for all I feel is a quiet disquiet...a still unease which is almost comfortable. What I was experiencing is perhaps best described as when the mind is soaring with absolute terror, but the body is supressing this, numbing it...so the terror absolute does not surface.

Paradox, you say? Where be my body when I am separated for it to help? My mind adapts...makes me a new body, a virtual one, one to act as a shield to my untrained mental terror...like the post-amputee and his phantom limb. I created a numbing device in place of a real physical sense. Reducing the emotion of horror to stable, tho' unbeaten it remains and thus becomes a quiet disquiet. My amazing mind understood that all feeling is one.

Understanding is not the same as readiness, however. The dismemberment I can handle, sinking into the green lake I cannot. My mind was not so amazing anymore. The fear returned: the full-blown ready to explode kind. And explode it did, creating a new breed of emotion I have no name for. Something was coming.

Something as in some ones...I deduced these were intruderous betraying ego-maniacs of the worst kind (in my normal waking life, a hated known person of mine). They were minds, like mine, floating in the lake, and they were coming at me to meld. I was fresh, and wanted, and they were rushing towards me...to meld their stronger and more horrible emotions with mine...I was helpless. I couldn't conjure any mind tricks, for I was in the lake now...in the lake you had to surrender to the meld. I knew this, but now I didn't want to anymore.

And...boom.

Boom...we melded. The most powerful adrenaline rush no mortal has ever imagined. Knowledge, understanding of the beyond, or the reality, or whatever earthly term we use...whatever it is...it is absolute meaning. I wasn't I...they weren't they...we were one. It was...it was...indescribeable.

Feeling is inconsequential, sense is all. There is no time, no matter...only awareness.

Then it began to fall apart, we, still as one, began to sense confusion...uncertainty. Who planted those intrusive treacherous ego vibes? Unease has no place with us, but why do we feel it? What is fear doing here when it should have been banished?

The meld becomes chaos, blame starts to occur, individual awareness returns...I am I again..and I am the primitive one, bringing primitive negative unwanted emotions to the lake. Get out, get off, go away!

Babblings, screamings, feelings like a swarm of hands all over me, trying to push me away...but I am stronger than we think...and I inadvertantly keep forcing my way back into the meld...thirsty for its power.

This is not good for the lake. Something happens. A fantastic, an ernormous, an unfeasibly powerful presence...a single presence, a one of many, a meld of giants...something is coming.

I whimper, or rather I feel the sensation of submissive whimpering, as do the other presences about with whom I melded...chaos is immediately silenced. An installation of a formidable quiet disquiet is erected, a wall of protection, but also of admonission. Then I sense I am being targeted...I am about to receive something...

My head explodes.

..."...too much...not enough...too much...not enough..." is all I keep from the explosion my mind was subjected to. An acid blast saving me from the lake, protecting the lake's harmony...and returning my scattered mind back to my body. I awoke by the lake, awoke as a newborn awakes for the very first time. Physical did not abandon me after all, but it took weeks before I could co-ordinate my movements, walk and talk normally, before I could think properly again.

I resolved to allow myself the luxury to sleep and dream...but no more. No going back. I dream with gratitude...and with longing, yes.

TGL: Zad's first encounter with Hyacinth

She felt the weight again, coarsely pressing against herself. The weight came at least once every cycle of light and dark. This one was warm and came in three - Plonk! Plonk! Two twin weights balanced on each side of her, and then...Plonk! The master weight placed on her middle. And now further, lighter weights are placed around her edges. She feels the strain being placed on her unfortunate structure, feels the energy her long strong legs are using to support this strange happening.

Woooaaahhh!!!

That happened sometimes too, although there was no pattern to it. She likened it to the rain she once used to experience. Only this rain was sticky and certainly not refreshing......yes, like the rain......when I used to be whole......

She was no longer aware; she was searching for her other selves. Perhaps existence was more pleasureable with the rest of her - aah......now I am like I just was, only smaller, still with four legs, but these are weak, yet it is me. She does not notice the large walking animal about to dethrone her. Ouch! It's bloody sitting right on top of me and I creak! She leaves this self only to find she is in the grip of another such creature and is indeed a tool of aggression towards another, smaller, walker. SSSMACK! SSSMACK! Right on its behind! She is small and thin, with a round head which is still forcefully connecting against her will. THIS IS NO FUN AT ALL!......I remember when I was whole......

She is now one and all her selves. As she used to be. She feels the real rain, my sweet, my beautiful rain. And the wind - your breath gives me my very essence, you provide my energy. She is with all her family - huge, unchanging, purposeful. A swinging animal uses her arms to play, travel and make home. This is why I exist! Tiny dot animals feast on her growth......my growth......

YEEEAAAWWWOOOHHH!!!!!!

With a jolt she comes out of her reminiscing as she is whacked full on her midriff. She screams a cry of pain, frustration, self-pity, of longing......of retribution.

......

Zad violently stubbed his toe against the wall (as only he is prone) and heavily punched the table with the bottom of his fist in retaliation. For one crazy moment he was sure the table reacted, a fearsome reaction. But no, it was plainly the momentum of his momentary anger, causing the table to jump up towards him.

Feeling satisfied, Zad went on with his day.

TGL: Clue dialogue between Oz and a failed mimic

How do you feel?

Hmm...? Oh! I feel fine...yeah.

And how else do you feel?

Alright...I feel dull. I feel as if someone has switched off the light inside me...the light in me. And numb, yes...like my brain would not register pain...or any other feeling. Spaced-out you might say.

You might. More, please.

More...? Um...I feel...indecisive. Should I write this with your blue biro? Or should I fish mine out of my...wait, where's my bag?

Forget your bag.

...I...I think I'm incapable, or I feel incapable...or is that the same...(sigh).

Good, but I need more.

You will drain me! But I will give you more if that's what you want. I am tired, yes...and sleepy. See my thoughts wander...lost in their own confusion...

You are confused?

Huh...? No, not really. I'm just raving. Just raving to please you it seems.

Aah...tell me more about the raving.

Oh...y-e-s...I was raving...and now I...now I am coming down. YES! THAT'S IT! That's it...comedown. That is what I am suffering from, that is my disease! But it will pass...

I don't understand.

Of course you don't. You're not the one coming down, you have never been high enough to warrant a comedown! I have...I have...when the beats get to my brain the rhythms meld with my mind...it is a part of me now.

Yes...that's it.

It jumps my heart, makes me feel...my dreams keep it real. The fire, it burns...my lover, she yearns.

I am sorry for you.

Yes, yes...that is why...but it will pass. I am resting now. I need to rest if I want to go up again. I need to go higher...I know when I get over the top...she'll stop yearning...she'll stop...maybe the light will come back.

I hope for you it does.

Now leave me be, you have what you desired and now I will have mine!

So be it.