The Real Lost roleplay

I don't watch telly, but I do watch Lost. After watching the Desmond-led episode "Constant" I was so impressed and 'into it' that I registered at the biggest Lost forum on the web, and started a role-play.

Me being the darren, meant that I never continued what I started, I vanished and forgot about it...only just now logging in again for the first time in months to find pages of thread continuance and a handful of pm's asking me when is it gonna start proper.

Too late now, seen as the story has gone down the particular arc it has, but here is the master post...just for fun:


------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Real Lost (running live with latest episodes)

---

WARNING! SPOILERS IF YOU ARE NOT WATCHING THE LATEST EPISODES!

------------------------------------------------

Scenario:


Introduction:

We, in this reality, this very real life we have, meet here at the Fuselage. During the course of the first 3 and-a-bit seasons we get to know each other via masses of commenting and arrange a few meetups via the Caves & Beaches board here on this website. We eventually arrange a trip to where we believe the fictional island to be...just for fun. We are Lost fans and what better excuse for a trip to exotic isles than to pretend we are on a mission to find the island?

We settle on Easter Island - mainly because we all wanted to visit it anyway, and it is suitably mysterious and interesting, if lacking in jungle.

After many rounds of emails there are eventually 8 of us who are definitely up for it, and we decide to first all meet in Santiago, Chile. This we do and after a merry evening of party and the potential sowing of a romantic entanglement or two, we take the early morning flight to the island in anticipation of our sordid Lost roleplays that we've been planning.

------------------------------------------------

Event:

The flight to Easter Island experiences difficulties...the plane goes down...all is black.


And then:

Slowly people start coming to...the plane is a burning wreckage. It is very dark. After a very long and confusing time, we 8 manage to gather ourselves and realise that all the other passengers, including the attendants and cockpit crew, are all dead.

We are all in shock, but one or two pull themselves together and start escorting our group away from the plane.

It is very dark, the sky is black. From the light from the little burning that still lingers we can make out some trees and miscellaneous greenery. It does not appear we are in a wide open space.

We decide to sit together and think...

------------------------------------------------

Where we really are yet none of us know it yet:

We have transcended our reality and entered the Lost universe. We are in the middle of thick, green jungle.

We are on The Island. It is real.

The characters we know as characters are, in this reality upon which we have stumbled...very real.

The events of the last episode we watched (the current one playing on ABC) have just occurred for real here. The Lost camp is split between Locke and Jack; Sayid, Des & Frank are on the boat.

------------------------------------------------

How this works:

The idea is that we begin with the 8 leads, which is us Lost fans who made the trip, sitting by the plane wreckage in pitch black trying to remain calm and make sense of the situation. We do not know if we crashed on Easter Island or on any other bit of land.

The first 7 Fuselage members who are interested simply reply and claim the next available person...in this case person number 2.

When we have all 8 we can commence with the story, which should develop freely, yet also remain constant and consistent with the Lost story that is being shown on ABC.


Other members interested can be a Lost character (claim one now if you want), and can come in-and-out of the story at will.


TWO RULES:


Rule 1.

If you are not one of the 8 (and/or if and when the 8 split) then you must state at the top of your post where you are, and who you are with, something like this:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bernard is by the stream with Rose, approximately 2 miles west from the 8 and their plane wreckage.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And thus, you guys can have your own little story or chat or comic relief or whatever.


Rule 2.

Anything related to the Lost characters must be in keeping with the actual goings on of the current season. So no Charlie or Eko. No Sayid talking to Jack on the beach (until they meet up again in the episodes themselves of course).



------------------------------------------------

The Challenge! The challenge is how are we going to introduce the losties to the 8? What a shocker! How are the 8 gonna tell the losties that they know all about them, their backstories, their secrets...and that they're meant to be just characters in a TV show, with actors playing them. How will the 8 question their own reality and existence?

The Challenge! How will we manage jumping from scene-to-scene, from group-to-group, without it getting all confusing? Is there no way to do some colour-coding or something?

------------------------------------------------

CAST:


The 8: (these names were post-edited later from the interested peeps...becoming 11)


1 - James "Pucus" Adams. Male. Age 14. From Australia. (Pucus)
2 - Bruce "Cd" Norris. Age 14. Male. From Australia. (CharliesDrugs)
3 - Naf. Age 17. Male. From Australia (>Quarintine<) 4 - Alex Ewing. Male. Age 18. From Maryland. (Alex Ewing 5 - Jack Sawyer. Male. Age 30. From Toronto (Jack Sawyer) 6 - Greg. Male. Age 18. From San Fransico (-DJ-) 7 - Saskia. Female. Age 22. Scotland.(lost for words) 8 - Darren. Male. Age 29. Germany. (dhollmusik) 9.- Claud. Female. Age 30's. From New England. 10. Blue. Female. Age 25. From America. 11. Kris. Female. Age 20. From Asia.


Losties:

Jack -
Locke -
Sawyer - -DJ-
Sayid -
Kate - LadyKateBird
Claire -
Rose -
Bernard -
Jin -
Sun - Bluecoral
Hugo -


Others:

Ben -
Desmond -
Penny -
Juliet -
Frank -
Daniel -
Charlotte -
Miles -
Danielle -
Alex -
Karl - Pucus
Christian -
Abbadon -

(more can be added if the ABC season adds them - or if I've forgotton anyone)


------------------------------------------------

I have no idea if this will raise any interest or not...but it was fun writing it anyway.

I'll check back after the next episode has aired to see if there's any interest. Remember, all you have to do for now is reply and claim a character. It would be good if the 8 was mixed boys & girls.

Opinions and suggestions are of course very welcome.


Viel Spaß!!

Faith Freedom?

www.faithfreedom.org houses some very one-eyed discussions, but sometimes it is also home to intelligent and perceptive commenters lyrically waxing the nature and merits of organised religion in a world where secularity and agnosticism are equally present, at least in Western societies. The site chiefly encourages the apostasy of Muslims through debate. That means most threads are love-ins for self-congratulatory and sometimes very paranoid anti-Islam crowds.

I signed up and used the "elseedy" moniker, which is the name of a music collective we had in London, but on this site sounds like an Arabic surname (it's not very common). I wanted to
humanise and balance some of the more vicious threads going on, with interesting effects. I also wanted to discuss general theology of a more final nature.


Below are various statements without surrounding thready context made by the seedy me from different threads during Autumn 2007 (the dholl seeds are a store, see):


-----------------------


On the inherent intention of conflict from every Muslim:

You may influence the thinking of a Muslim if he (or she) is naturally a compassionate and open person. For example I was discussing the murder of the dutch playwrite, Theo van Gogh, and my friend (arab, life-long and devoted Muslim to the point where he freely admits Islam comes first, family second) pointed to a picture of the poor man's prone and very dead body with a knife sticking out his chest and proclaimed:


"I respect the man who did this."


I believe this was an automatic response from him. After much passionate debate from both where we reminded each other that Islam means peace and such hysterical reactions are gross signs of weakness he eventually conceded and changed his mind to say that the murder of van Gogh was wrong.

Although still very much against any form of Islam-baiting my friend at least has shown me signs that there are ways to debate intelligently with Muslims. I think from the Muslim-end should come many concessions to:


Peace, Humanity, Love, Understanding, Forgiveness, Education, Maturity


when discussing and reacting to such difficult issues like the van Gogh incident or the Muhammad caricatures from Denmark.

Yet...yet who am I to know for sure he really did change his mind?


see wiki for the van Gogh story:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theo_van_Gogh_%28film_director%29


-----------------------


On Halal food:

Dönerläden and the like are everywhere, even in smaller German cities. The average person (like me) would rather eat out at local German eateries but does not have this choice as they are either closed for the day, have old and over-priced foods or are closed forever. Instead s/he eats at the Turkish or Arabic late-nighters and actually thinks the food is okay, good value and convenient.

Similar story with the food markets. I would like to support the German growers but their tomatoes are soggy and wrinkly, cucumbers are leaking water and the apples are bruised. The Turks however, are combining fresh goods with competitive pricing...

Capitalism at its mightiest! Oh, the irony!!


I'm thinking of doing some research actually. Where the produce from the Turkish and Arabic family stands comes from. Mayhap they come from local German farms anyway.


-----------------------


On fighting the Muslim threat by invoking the figure of 3000 dead from 9/11:


Okay, fine. So what about the unknown 5- or 6-figure death toll in Iraq since the USA-led invasion?

I think most victims (about 99%) were muslim. Hopefully that was not for nothing either.


-----------------------


On aggressive passages from the book of Islam, the Qur'an:


...what are you so afraid of? I live in Berlin where almost 10% of the population are Muslim. I lived in London for many years that had similar numbers. I would prefer it if the muslim communities wanted to integrate more but it's only been a couple of generations. I think time will heal most problems.

I only wish that there were more stable non-muslim family units with lots of babies as this invasion of Islam of which you speak may turn out to be sort of true, simply due to strength of their family units and having plenty children.

Additionally, one of the most important features of what I would call my culture (West-European) is the secularism of its state(s)...this, of course (contrary to what most Muslims would want) should remain.


I don't believe there is a cunning masterplan from Islam to invade Europe...the logistics alone are too complicated (a book, some mosques and an ideology is not enough).

You need to ask the question: why did the first-generationers move from their Islamic country of birth to a progressive and free(-ish) non-Islamic nation?

The answer is generally economical rather than anything sinister.

I have not personally experienced any fight from Muslims pertaining to those quotes from your last post. One could probably make a case that the London attacks from July 2005, orchestrated by British Muslims, were inspired by such translations but if there was a proper all-Muslim Jihad then there would be absolute anarchy.


I can only hazard that those quotes came from a time of war...it would be interesting to hear a Muslim's response to todays' validity of them:


- "Trust in God if the enemy wants peace"...meaning to agree with the peace. Or slay the enemy if the enemy wants war.


That sounds reasonable enough.


-----------------------


On making the Islam faith illegal in Western societies:


I think we should ban evil murdering nutcases...but I don't know how. I don't think banning the Qur'an will help much.


-----------------------


On criticism of my use of rough statistics:


...intending only a rough figure to make a point rather than using cold statistics to back up an argument.


-----------------------


On Islam and Christianity being the same, except run by different people:


Some boths include:


Both have a book which guides/regulates/governs them, detailing among others:

- the literal 6-day (with the 7th as a rest day) creation of our planet.

- Adam and Eve are the literal parents of everybody.

- the Noah's Ark and Abraham legends.


- Both have violently defended their faiths.

- Both have proven their inflexibility, ignorance and discrimination in countless historical examples.

- Both have claimed the attempt to instill basic humanity-based morals into which most good people live by.

- Both have wars to their name. Or rather both were used to cover up wars for land, power and control issues.


I can plainly see the logic in Intelligent Design Theory. I can just as clearly understand the Chaos Theory. The designer creates then leaves for Chaos to govern.

I cannot believe in an organised religion when there are dozens of Christian/Catholic off-shoots, when there are some Muslims who drink alcohol and others who do not, when there is also Hinduism, Buddhism, rabid atheism and god-knows what else. When there are questionable rules and contradictory morals.

They can't all be right. How can Islam be the correct one if it shares its history with its supposed rival? How can Christianity be correct when some reverends preach that Jesus is God himself and others say that that is fallacy, he was actually the son? Not-to-mention the Jewish angle.

I support Everton FC, you may support Liverpool FC. We accept both clubs are real - as long as they have supporters. Just let's not fight about it. My bible is my city-map. It says that if I keep cycling this way then so-and-so street will come up...and it does!

As for nit-picking differences between the Bible and the Qur'an, it is people who write these books and run these religions - people are different. That we know.


-----------------------


On the assumption that I am a Muslim poster because I seek balanced debate:


I'm a fence-sitting agnostic who responds best when confronted by mindless copycat statements like the one below:


Cassandra wrote:

"You don't have to follow a barbaric evil deity created by a psychopathic pedophile."


Try and approach the subject openly or you risk sounding like most Muslims do when one tries to explain that Muhammad caricatures do not warrant burning down of embassies.


I only think that to have one side say:

"Islam, Allah, Muhammad, Muslim all mean peace."


and another side say:

"Allah is a barbaric evil deity created by a psychopathic pedophile"


requires some middle-ground argument.


This forum is lacking more sober thinking into why a 1400 years old religion has endured and bloomed to a billion people. The atrocities of this world have been caused by all kinds of peoples for all kinds of ideologies...Islam simply can't be the most evil one of all.

I can understand some of your stance. Certainly ignorance and brainwashing has played its part on mass scales but one could say the same for Christendom, especially before the 19th century.

Perhaps Islam is morally and intellectually a century behind the secular world? Doesn't mean it's evil.

Turkey's EU situation is a very interesting one, and one that could be key to how Islam develops this next 100 years. How do you feel about Muslim countries run by secular government...as the West have for most of the last century? Most Arabic people do not want this but I feel they can adapt if such changes happen.

I feel that the danger is religion in government, not spirituality in people. Keep Islam in people but lose it from government. I don't think Turkey has "denied" Islam, it has perhaps adapted its influence on the state...which is a step in the right direction for the free world.


-----------------------


On why I champion the middle-ground:


The middle ground I am already living consists of going out with friends, (some of which are muslim) and playing football, drinking beer (some drinking alcohol-free beer), eating halal döner together, helping each other, talking with each other, talking theology - and sometimes is disagreeing but understanding why.

None of them have tried to behead me yet.

So you blind stupid Islam-bashers should stop copying opinion from other media and start realising that there is already a middle-ground, especially in the big European cities. And that you can mix Islamic faith with agnostic friends.

Yes, there are extremists who want Islam to take over the world and kill all who refuse. Yes, Muhammad has a probably unclean history. No, we should not wipe out Christianity just because the odd priest rapes children.

No, we should not wipe out Islam just because the odd nutter murders civilians.


-----------------------


Preaching to the stupid:


Wrong. Taking selective translations from the Koran to make this case is just lazy. What you need to understand is that if these people are happy with their relationship with Islam and Allah, then that is all that is important...there are no victims.


ixolite wrote:
"Btw, the "middle-ground" in european cities is for a woman the reality of being molested in the "islamic" areas of the city."


This is a general problem. In comparison with other major cities I think Berlin is quite safe for young single women to freely walk about at any hour. And we're not just talking safe from Muslims (from supposed "Islamic areas") but relatively safe from any other nasty rapist.


ixolite wrote:
"How anyone with a sane brain can support animal cruelty by eating this stuff (halal) is beyond me."


Animals are killed for us to eat. How this is done is generally determined by concepts of religion, perceived animal-fairness or economy. We either eat dead animals or we don't. A vegan telling me "Yuk!" I can empathise with but a fellow carnivore?


-----------------------


elseedy defends Islam against the bashers:


Who are you all to say who is a good muslim and a bad one? You all have no idea and pick and choose your 'sources' to best suit an opinion against Islam.

Yes, the Islamqa site preaches absolute rigid nonsense that has no place in the modern world. No, that is not a reason to wipe out Islam simply because not every Muslim (by far) adheres to such rigidness.

In London and Berlin such rules as stated on this Islamqa site are broken all the time. The Muslims who break these rules aren't performing some kind of mysterious trick to fool us westerners. They are rather adapting their religion to suit their lifestyles. Take female doctors as one example. If this makes them a "bad Muslim" in the eyes of stiff Sheikhs or through targeted bashing then it probably makes them a "good Muslim" in their own view, their family's and in their own interpretation of Islam.

For the record I am a white European agnostic who believes that any literal adherence to holy books and beliefs in divinity is childish at best...can be dangerous too. I am also a fair man who does not like to see gangs of bullies bashing something to death for little good reason other than fear or greed.

Some examples of real bullying throughout history, of which Islam is barely a perpetrator:


- The Crusades

- The almost-complete wiping out of Native Americas tribes

- Slavery (from all over the world)

- The Holocaust

- Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki

- USA's constant 'strategic' bombing of Iraq in between the two Gulf/Iraq wars

- This website and its contributors raving madly against Islam and its 1 billion followers


There are many good articles and discussions on this site but when it comes to straight Islam-bashing it loses its seriousness and becomes a dumb free-for-all. Even some comments from Muslims themselves have generally been dumb ripostes which haven't helped the discussions to become serious debate.


So, in conclusion: Do not believe that a Muslim who integrates genuinely with non-Islam society is a "bad Muslim". Do not believe that a Muslim who wishes harm to all non-Muslims is a good Muslim and thus, Islam should be destroyed.

For if you do believe this, then you may start major conflicts that aren't even there in the first place. Conflicts which the author of Islamqa probably also wants.

There are always two sides to every debate. That is why there must be a middle-ground which fairly represents the subject.

From the elseedy: book of wisdom 19:247-249:

"Look not to ancient scriptures of instruction, for you must adapt in this life."

"Do not call the haters stupid, it is enough only for you to know this."

(I broke a rule...this is good)

"Simply ensure there are no victims as a result of your actions or ignorance...this is enough."


-----------------------

The Universe disproves a present God?


I believe so and have often asked believers of their opinion of why we are God's special people when the Universe is so massive etc.

With our present level of knowledge and technology we won't even be able to explore beyond our own galaxy before the universe supposedly implodes upon itself (tho' the speed of light will probably be cracked in the future).

There must have been some kind of design at some very distant beginning - has the design been left to randomly evolve with almost infinite variables? Does this mean that we, the human race, and our wonderful planet were not planned at all but rather happened as a result of a chain of random events? If so, then nobody apart from us knows we're here.

Believers have given strange answers to these sort of questions: "Space is difficult to negotiate because God wants us to stay in our planet. Trust in Him" is probably the most popular one.

I say the universe disproves a "present God" as I can't make sense of designing such an unfathomably massive creation and plonking a chosen people on such a minuscule dot, reassuring them to believe and worship and bla.

I believe the designer (be it a force, entity or chaos) comes from the before- and afterlife and is somehow related to our consciousness. This is why the human has the urge to seek spirituality, which built the man-made religions.

I would be interested to hear thoughts on this.

-----------------------


Where are all the solipsists?


I've known 3 of them myself...but maybe that's just a trick I created.

One of my friends has been a solipsist for 20 years...it took him almost half that time to finally accept it.

He tells me that he didn't begin to fully enjoy life until he started to "play the game". He since finds people much more wonderful and interesting.

I wonder if we all go through this moment of enlightenment but most of us at such an early age as not to remember it. Or perhaps some have a short and wicked flash of solipsism before dismissing it on grounds of its ridiculousness forever.


-----------------------


Some shorter observations:


We are all one...that means we come from the same thing in the Before and go back to it in the After. There won't be a Me, You or Them...it will just be Us...in one.

I don't know how I know, I just know.

--

"angstheist" - I know some of those too. It should have a Wiki entry.

--

Why is it that when I read your posts I hear the voice of Stewie Griffin reciting them?

--

The IRA (The Irish Republican Army) killed people and scared a whole kingdom for decades before being negotiated out of business so please stop your bloodthirsts and think about how to deal with this problem in an adult way.


--

WHHOOO-HOOOOO!!!

ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THE CRAZY HATER, YEAH!!! LET'S KICK THEIR ASSES, GOD BLESS blah, blah, blah


Jesus weeps as he reads your post, Starburst...you sorry lost soul you.

--

What a load of rubbish...what on earth are you saying here? This whole debate has gone as silly as the original post.

Let's kill it.-

Gear Review: Yamaha RS7000

Ease of Use

Software Version ? - the one with extra combined filters (LPF & BPF combined).

Very intuitive to use (tho' I did come from the QY100). The massive plus here is the real-time tweaking which include clock shifts, midi-delays, Octave switches, LFO, pitch, effects, filters...responsive and makes you feel like a musician rather than a programmer. Navigating menus and sequencing is easy, fast and ergonomic.

I always use the "Song" mode...great for live use and non-linear real-time track recording.

Can't really edit patches (the presets can and do sound a bit weak). One has to play with the various knobs and use your ears.

I have rarely referred to the manual but it seems well-written enough.

Features

Forget the on-board keyboard (use it for certain basic percussive sequencing) and use a decent midi keyboard. I recommend one with a good velocity range (the Roland PC ranges are good, 5 octaves for abt €130).

LOADS and LOADS of features, tasks, settings...a lot of them real-time controllable (with recording too). Tasks (or jobs) for almost anything you can think of...apart from synthesis or LFO programming (although there is a limited LFO-editor).

Built-in effects add a lot of meat, space and mystery to the neutral presets. Only being able to assign 3 effects in a whole song is limiting and one also can't choose a flange and distortion simultaneously. But the effects are fairly editable.

The on-board sequencer is the heart of the RS7000 and is flexible, powerful and easy to use. Might be weird for Yamaha newbies but I like it. Not a match for top-level Cubase or Logic sequencing tho'.

Expressiveness/Sounds

With a good midi controller you have the full velocity range of 1-127. The RS disappointments somewhat with its western real instruments sounds (guitars & pianos) but is better with ethnic patches. Some synths sound a bit washy and most all the drum-kits unexciting (as in standard) - again, one has to twiddle the knobs to personalise and excite the sounds. Example: for psy kick-drums select BEF filter with cut between -55 to -40 and resonance on minimum (-64).

Although it seems a lot of guitarring rock musicians use this for drum backing...and I gather hip-hoppers use it too, I use it for dance beats. On quality sound-systems and with an external hardware compressor (I used a Samson) I played some FAT sets with the RS reacting very well to live-jamming. In a techno club environment suddenly all your doubts about the RS-sound are blown away. RS also works well for non-linear ambient music.

I want: more adventurous presets, the ability to choose more effects for one song. Pan recording options.

I like: massive editing functions to make those presets sound better and much more interesting. Real-time record and jamming.

Reliability

Well...I have had it for about 7 years and played dozens of squat parties, gigs and partook in many more bedroom jams. It's also crossed the north sea successfully. The whole time I only ever wrapped it in a soft suit bag with towels wrapped round it. It has a few scars and two real defects:

1) the master volume control is iffy, possibly due to a knock or spilt liquid.
2) sometimes a song will become stunted and start farting and playing out of time...I know of no other solution than to give up on the song.

Seen as it has been in some quite harsh environments I judge this to be a strong, robust baby.

Overall Rating

I would miss it if it were gone. I can make techno from a blank song within 10 minutes and real-time jam away for hours thereafter! That live aspect I would miss.

Other gear have more been accompaniments to the RS: Zoom RFX2000, Samson S-COM, Roland PC midi-keyboard, some battered old mixer, mics/guitars and other instruments (not played by me), TC Electronics FX-box, Darkstar synth (hardly used).

I rinsed the RS a long time ago but can still have fun with it. I briefly played the Roland 909 and 505 but they somehow left me cold (granted, I didn't spend too much time on them). I started playing music with the Yamaha DJX in 1999, progressed to the QY100, then the RS in early 2002 (or was it 2001?). Nowadays I jam with the RS but also play around with software (not as fun).

The thing I hate most about the RS:

a) that bloody bug which stunts the song (see "Reliability section). I think this might just affect me as I haven't come across any mentions of it elsewhere.
b) after 7 years rinsing this baby...sometimes I feel sick of any sound it offers, effected or no...and curse its pretend claims to proper sounds (a banging gig is a good cure for this).

Thing I love: Well...lots of stuff as already mentioned. The fact that I have easily spent over 2000 hours playing on it since purchase mean it has achieved "Legend" status for me.

Interested people can check out:

www.myspace.com/elseedydeutschland & www.myspace.com/dhollmusik

for some unmastered, unadultered, straight-out-da-box RS action!

What type of man are you when...

...the woman you want doesn't want you, and is actually turned off by the idea:



- The Denier

You don't believe it. In fact, you are certain she is secretly in love with you. Her reaction is only show to protect you/her actual partner/the cat.


- Mr Downwards

You are so down. You are depressed, are haunted by a thousand ghosts of negativity. You are scum. You are useless shit. Nobody likes you...ever.


- The Hopeful One

You accept it, but you have hope. You think it might still work out one day. Maybe she'll come round to the idea, you just have to kind of stick around and not make any big balls up.


- The Liar

Everything you say is a lie, a fantasy. This is a tactical and very conscious act. The desired result is that you will look better in her eyes. The colder among you will even look to make her feel inferior through your lies.


- Man of Apathy

You actually don't care either way. You feel so dull inside, you're not even sure a yes from her would have made any difference. You are not down, or unhappy...you are emotionally blunted. You feel nothing.


- Nastyman

You are one of the bad guys. You react with rage, aggression, nasty intention. You want to just argue. You write awful things, attacking her. You might contemplate or even act out a physical attack. You exist, yes you do.


- The Rabid Nervous Communicator

You go all weird: talk in breathless gasps of hot air which are damp and sweaty. You call/text/mail constantly in an attempt to explain, or to appease...each time with a different viewpoint. Mostly you have no idea what you are talking about, but you think as long as there still is some form of constant communication, then things will work out.


- The Rationalist

You decide to stop fancying her as it's a waste of energy. You are a slave to reciprocal love, and are turned off by one-way attraction, whichever way it runs. Some people would call this a gift, but you call it a method.


- The Seducer

You are hot and you know it. You don't need a signal from the girl that she wants you, because you have the technique/eyes/bum to take her anyway. She won't even realise what's happened until long after your lips have locked with hers.


- Shyboy

You are either very silent on the subject, or you can only broach it with nervous laughter and red face. You can certainly not talk about it in any meaningful way.


- Mr That's Life:-)

You like to shrug off things with a smiley. You are a genuine positive floater of a man, like a cloud which is all fluffy and nice. You probably say things like: "Oh well, at least I've learnt something lol!".


- The Warm Friend

You accept it, and understand there is no hope. Yet you like her so much you become her best friend. You are the one she calls when she needs somebody to talk to. You spend more time with her than anyone else, you might even hold a candle for her throughout, but nothing will ever happen...yet you are content.


- The Wiper

Some kind of crazy outrage causes you to wipe out every memory of her. No more contact, no more thoughts, no more memories. She never existed...end of.

How to make tea

Category: Religion and Philosophy

1) Procure circa 250ml high-ball shaped tea mug (ceramic/porcelain are fine) and boil kettle (kettle has effective limescale filter and abt 300ml water is fresh from tap - the remaining 50ml is thrown).

2) Place one Yorkshire Tea Bag in mug.

3) Add a half teaspoon of muscovado.

4) Add just enough milk (fresh, non-homogenised with 3%-4% natural fat) to give the finished article that dark golden brown look (one simply knows how much to put in...and the risk of under/overweight simply adds to the excitement).

5) With your (long steel) teaspoon vigorously stir the muscovado in with the milk and the teabag flat face down at the base. After abt 20 seconds one will have a thick, sweet brown liquid and a very soggy teabag.

(One tends to time the above steps to perfection as the kettle is now boiling).

6) In classic cocktail style pour the boiling water at an easy pace whilst hoisting the kettle in slow motions up and down thither into the mug (say from 5cm to 20cm vertical distance from kettle spout to mug rim). The teabag will become bloated, like a balloon, and float to the top. Froth will form. This is good.

7) Now squeeze...gently yet firmly, like pressing a loved one. Eke out the tea's very essence through the pressure (front- or back-side of teaspoon is a matter of personal preference). A richly-seductive aroma shoots up into the air, a sound of squeezing and extraction so perfect as to make you take a deep breath each time, lovely visual effects of frothy bubbles and darkest streams of brown invading the creamy white appearance of the liquid...aaah, for we are almost there.

8) Using the the spoon take the bag abt 80% out of the mug and clasp the edge of the bag with the fingers. The bag should be abt 20% immersed.

9) Now stir the newly-formed tea liquid in a fast, rhythmic, anti-clockwise action for abt 10 seconds. During this stir the bag is to be hoisted in and out of the liquid (which resumes the hard hot splashing of liquid onto the bag...further releasing flavour).

10) Release the bag from grip and wonder at the beauty of the still hypnotically spinning tea now carrying the bag with it...like a doomed ocean liner in the Bermuda Triangle caught on fast-forward video. The bag must still sink however and will not do so as it has re-ballooned due to the afore-action. Squeeze it, baby, one more time.

11) Take a minute or two to contemplate what has just occurred and then please do consummate...

...that means drink it.

Everton crash out...

I'm not gonna go into detail, that's what the evertonfc.com blueboard is for (well, for ranting mainly). But I will paste perceptive half-time blather from Guardian writer Tom Bryant, quoting a couple of Everton fans:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peep, peep: That's it for the first half. It may well be it for Everton as well.

A half-time email: "Re: Gary Naylor's tactical email. Fair point about that 4-1-3-1-1, except that the thing that made it work so well the past few years - a stout bald Irishman - is no longer available. Problems with Howard and the back four this season aside, not nearly enough attention is paid to how much we miss Lee Carsley," says Ryan Jones all the way from USA! USA! USA!

MBM regular and Everton fan Gary Naylor is beginning to get into that kind of angrily morose mood you tend to get into when your team is on the verge of sliding ignominiously out of the Cup. "Everton are a bit lucky to have nil at the moment," he says. "At the start of the season, at least we were scoring as well as conceding - the nightmare scenario of a fragile defence and a toothless attack looms. Moyes needs to earn his money in the next hour or so."

He's not the only one, either: "Man, first we panic buy a player who would have cost £5m before his clash with Liverpool (Fellaini: £15m)," writes Darren Holliday before winding himself up then really getting in the mood for a RANT. "Then we play a disgraceful home derby. This week the players openly ask Moyes what the deal is with his contract ... no answer to that one. Just now we are playing as badly as we have all season and look second best to a team from Belgium. And at this very second I'm listening to random French conversation darting out of my speakers as the BetFair internet broadcast quite strangely just leaves us hanging there among the crowd staring at an empty pitch ... oh, and now awful Europoop trance is blaring out of the stadium." He signs off saying he's off to make some tea but, really, I think he might be rigging up some kind of gun-drawing contraption, shaving his head, and repeating "Are you looking at me," into the mirror over and over again.

We're off again: Saha is still fit.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dholliday comments...

I've just had a fairly active round of commenting on various Guardian articles (football mainly, but other stuffs as well). So to keep track I clicked on my profile, perhaps a discussion was being continued.

And as this bogroll is chiefly a store for my words I thought I'd just, as of this time, paste the first page of 'last comments made':

Quite funny really...if only in a 'My, don't I write a load of tripe' way.

But reading through these reveals an awful lot about myself. I wonder if the same can be said if I click on another poster's profile page and read through his/her last page of comments? If one proffers opinions on culture, sports and politics over the space of days or weeks then I reckon it must be natural that some shades of personality or even facts of character are revealed.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashley regime shows fans the contempt they don't deserve

My comment Oct 02 08, 6:04am (2 minutes ago)

Ashley is untrustworthy.

His "King Kev" shirt had one of the most predictable bad endings I've seen in football.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bad times for Bavarian giants, on pitch and in parliament

My comment Oct 02 08, 5:59am (7 minutes ago)

I like Klinsmann, but wish his team much defeat.

The Bundesliga badly needs one of the Bremens, Schalkes, Hamburgs, Stuttgarts or Dortmunds (or Hoffenheims) to really kick on and maintain a consistent Bundesliga and eventual Champions League challenge these next few years.

My money is still on Werder but anyone will do...hopefully a few trophy-less seasons for the Münchners will make it easier for young stars of other clubs to stay put (what Schlaudraff, Poldi, Klose et al didn't do).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Should Ramos be held accountable for Tottenham's woes?

My comment Oct 02 08, 5:50am (16 minutes ago)

Minor cups aside...Spurs have always been an average make-up-the-numbers kind of club anyway. At least in my 20-odd years of following football.

Why all the attention? How on Earth do they attract these big names and all this interest?

Spurs are like a miniature version of Liverpool.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toon miss out on O'Leary the likeliest lad

My comment Oct 02 08, 5:45am (21 minutes ago)

All the analysis from you lot still doesn't change how far up the table Leeds Utd finished in consecutive seasons under O'Leary...wasn't it top 5 every season for 3 or 4 years in a row? One Champions League semi? All this amongst the disgusting acts of two of his top players and their very long and very public court cases?

Only the chairman is to blame for Leeds' downfall. O'Leary can be smarmy or annoying in interviews, and his Villa record is average, but the guy is a better candiate than Joe Kinnear.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jordan makes it crystal clear: life at the Palace has become impossible for a mere millionaire

My comment Oct 02 08, 5:38am (28 minutes ago)

Whoever decided that photo of Jordan should accompany this article...knew what they were doing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is Zizou so riled about a PSG winger's autobiography?

My comment Oct 02 08, 5:35am (31 minutes ago)

No big deal...Zidane was a hothead anyway, and was not fussed about being fair.

He will be remembered for his skills, not for the headbutt. Just as Maradona is known throughout the world for his amazing feats on the pitch, not the drug use...and outside of England no-one remembers the Hand Of God (got that in there before the clever dicks retort).

Zidane was immense, good luck to him whatever he does.


Recommended (1)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

No personality prizes in formula one

My comment Oct 02 08, 5:28am (38 minutes ago)

"relentless and robotic Michael Schumacher".

A massively successful German sportsman is denigrated in the usual manner by english kid-journalism.

All sports are like this now: their stars reign in their individuality for mass consumption. Look how bland football players are in post-match interview. The platitudes of golf or tennis champions are just as boring.

Michael Schumacher has little to do with it. If you forget your default German prejudice setting you will notice how the likes of great champions like Schumacher (and the Swiss Federer in tennis) in fact managed their own careers with impressive command and individuality...which comes across in interviews with them.

Emma, I venture because you are a woman, you struggle to grasp such technicalities and prefer an easy-to-digest personality like Rossi's...or Ronnie O'Sullivan. Both great champions for sure. This is not a sexist comment, it is the nature of female sports followers (as well as casual followers) to look for emotion in the protagonists while the male followers will appreciate the mundane operational aspects.

You may disagree with the above, but at least try not to use the lazy 'robotic/efficient/cold' descriptive terminology when referring to German sportsmen (or women). It's old, and you don't need it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The worst sports book ever?

My comment Oct 01 08, 11:12pm (about 7 hours ago)

The Ammies play military strategy. The world plays games.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Same old blues

My comment Oct 01 08, 11:10pm (about 7 hours ago)

Unlike the American election...the Britisch election offers no appreciable difference of policy, character or moral to choose between the candidate parties.

Yawn...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

All eyes on Sarah Palin

My comment Oct 01 08, 11:07pm (about 7 hours ago)

@PresidentD...good answers.

@sarahpalin: I do actually believe you did not name a newspaper because you did not want to show favouritism.

@voters of the USA: Vote Democrat...it's the economy, silly.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's all about the Benjamins

My comment Oct 01 08, 10:57pm (about 7 hours ago)

TheEarlofSuave: I don't agree.

I hear so many people talk of New York and San Francisco selling their rough souls to Starbucks, McDonalds and other forms of gentrification.

What happens is that a conformist form of conservatism breeds like the clappers. Edgy and interesting art movements are priced out, spat out, frowned upon.

What you see as a crackhouse is probably a squat where people throw parties, make drugs and consume art.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ambitious Moyes must wonder if he will ever fulfil himself

My comment Oct 01 08, 10:48pm (about 7 hours ago)

You speak the truth, Diggin.

Cash is king and has been since Jack Walker and Sky showed the way in the early-to-mid-90's

We used to believe we are a big club: because of 1878, because of Dixie, because of our trophies, because of the 80's. King Cash has dethroned us, and King Cash can coronate us again. And unless there are major changes to the game, this will remain sad but true.

We concede Liverpool's successes in the boot room era had to do with enviable sound management and coaching, but their comparatively little success in the Premiership era has only cash and their global brand to thank.

Ferguson and Wenger are among the world's finest coaches. They did not spend obscene amounts when they started with their clubs, tho' spend they did...but I am willing to allow both their successes, fair play to them. But Man Utd also have a global brand more marketable than Liverpool's.

Chelski we know about.

The debate is a few years old now: how does non-big 4 club break it on a regular basis? How does the top division regain a sense of fairness and unpredictability? The answer 20 years ago would have been to improve the coaching and management of the club. Like Ipswich, Notts Forest, Aston Villa and Everton did.

The answer now is cash. The only answer now is cash.

The most vital question of which there is no answer is: if we solve it by having multi-billionaire foreign ownership for all or most of the 20 clubs...what will that mean for the future of the English game of top-level professional football and its fans?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Go on holiday, they said. But the internet and my new phone gizmo mean I can never really leave

My comment Sep 29 08, 2:05am

I'll always remember The Happening as the cinema film that accompanied one of the most abject pulling failures of my life.

In mock tense mode during one of those badboy wind scenes, I grabbed her knee (she's got a fine knee) for about 3 seconds.

I say 3 seconds because that's how long it took me to realise she wasn't up for it...in fact she froze so violently that I thought I was turning to ice myself. Haven't heard from her since.

Recommended (4)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've let in 10 in two games so Owen should sell me

My comment Sep 28 08, 10:59pm

Well done. mate...you and your Pompey crew are a rare beacon of light in the ever-cynical monied world of Premiership football.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 10: sore losers

My comment Sep 28 08, 10:57pm

Mike Tyson

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liveblogging the first Obama-McCain debate

My comment Sep 27 08, 4:43am

Did no-one spot McCain calling Mikheil Saakashvili the "great young president"?

Ouch!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The time has come for a final report on the 43rd president of the US

My comment Sep 25 08, 2:19am

Whitenights claims:

"Bush beat Kerry and Gore's university results"

Source?


Recommended (6)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arranged marriages are not a romantic ideal

My comment Sep 25 08, 2:15am

The truth of it is that arranged marriages aid greatly in the long-term survival of a civilisation.

Discuss.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Science fiction doesn't have to be gloomy, does it?

My comment Sep 25 08, 1:36am

Stephen Baxter's Manifold Cycle (3 novels) is highly recommended and is neither optimistic nor pessimistic, utopic or dystopic...it is simply an exploration of fascinating possibility.

Or check out Yegeny Zamyatin's We (100 years old now)...a hectic and trippy read.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The unfortunate case of the tube station and the Righteous Kill poster

My comment Sep 25 08, 12:33am

Nezza, that's exactly what I was thinking.

Pop culture whores, the lot of them.


Next

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I could have clicked on 'Next', but I think that's enough for now...that shit goes back 3 years anyroad.