"For great blowjobs, phone 07810 216462"

"For great blowjobs, phone 07810 216462"

It's just staring at me (no, I'm staring at it) - I only just manage to control mysterious urges to phone such toilet graffiti challenges. I might want to check the validity of the claims. I might want to prank some darkly sad case. Whatever it is, I have curiosity that needs satisfying...at least I think it's curiosity.

"For great blowjobs, phone 07810 216462"

I'm still shitting, absent-mindedly pulling my foreskin hither and thither...no, I'm not getting aroused - my hands are bored while I contemplate blowjobs.

"For great blowjobs, phone 07810 216462"

What if a Jolie-lipped, Piper-toothed lovely slipped into this greasy abode for gentrified wasting and invited all & sundry to give random head a chance? Maybe the criteria for the successful applicant would be how nice you sound on the blower (sorry). My CV shows about a years' worth of contact centre experience so I feel quietly confident.
My Dick's getting bigger...

"For great blowjobs, phone 07810 216462"

What if it's a sweaty, middle-aged bloke with rusty bristles instead of where his facial skin should be?
My dick's got smaller...

I save the number in my phone: 'Blow' (well, what else? You know any Blows?). My belly smaller, my arse wiped and hands washed, I leave the pit and venture into fresh air..."ooops" say I as I pull up my forgotton trousers.
I feel a rumbling near my groin...

My vibrating mobile in my hand I check the ID of the caller:

'Blow'
?!
This is weird.
3 rings, 4 rings, 5 rings,
It's still weird, I should decide now.
"Hello?"
"Hey you, I'm Angelina - I got your number, baby - you want some business?"
This is weird.
"Er...you got my number? I have your number! Business? Oh...you mean...like...business."
"Yes, cutie!" (Ha! She knows I'm cute-) "I can come to you or you can come in me if you prefer."
"Wow...um...where are you?"
"Near Victoria, lover...anything you want."
"That's great - can I call you back? I need to quickly sort out summing."
"Don't keep me waiting, honey - you taste of honey, sweet thing?"
"I don't know...ah...I'll speak to you inabit - bye."
"Purrr..."


Well, on reflection it probably wasn't that weird but still fair game to be branded massively coincidental. A small chunk of life ago, whilst pissed, I vaguely remember writing something like "For great reaction to blowjobs, phone 07709 159754" in the BugBar unisex. It seems the horny and wet sounding Angelina (canya believe the name? Banker she's got big lips) saw my number and thought business. P'raps her pimp saw my number...nah...that's unlikely - and madams like Angelina are normally content with phone box adverts, street positioning and massage disguises.

I start thinking about Angelina, as a naive yet independent attractive young woman, starting out in the business, with me as her cherry-popping customer...no, wait - I meant I'd be popping her cherry, her business cherry...ah, fuck it.

I check I remembered to pull up my trousers.

So then, to increase her, what those poor sods in retail call, foot traffic, she's also plastered her name in gents', possibly tubes too (yes, the tube is the trendy new mating environ). This is blatantly the explanation for 'Blow' on my mobe...

'blow on my mobe'...I like the sound of that.